Giving it up.

Giving up a dream is not easy. I can honestly say I know from experience. Sometimes it's the right thing to do, sometimes it is not. I guess everyone just needs to make that choice for themselves. But they need to make it before it's too late.

Everyone always asks me why I don't play guitar anymore. You see, Alex (my boyfriend) and I have been together for nearly a year and three months now. When I first met him, I did absolutely nothing but played guitar. I could play most stuff with ease (Metallica, Hendrix, etc.) and I enjoyed doing it*. Well, we all know Alex is a drummer. A drummer with big dreams and goals who won't ever let that go. I was the same way. As time went on and we began getting more serious, I started to realize challenges that I would have to face within myself. I was too focused on having a boyfriend to even think about playing music. Once I realized it, I started playing again. Alex being as dedicated to music as he is, eventually made me jealous and nearly give up... again. I guess now, his musician ship has effected me so much (mostly for the worse) that I just can't bare music in general. His dreams are too big for me to handle, but being the fact that I love him and he's my best friend, I support him and I try to be at peace with myself. So pretty much, I gave up my dream for him, and I'm happy. I don't regret anything I've done. I just want him to realize how much music used to mean to me and how much his music has effected me.

My guitars have been sitting and collecting dust for a few months now and I don't know what to do. I don't want to sell them because there's always a part of me that feels like someday I'm going to pick up where I left off. But there's that other part of me that says it's a waste of time and I'm never going to be how I was before. It makes me depressed. But at least I have Alex, so I'm happy.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, there's only room for 1 musician in this relationship. Better luck next time, Kittie.